But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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