I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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