So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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