How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
