fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
