apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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