There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
