She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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