My cat gives me a boner
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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