Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize