I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
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believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
porn star boner night. come get it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
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As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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