It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
