There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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