P.S. I can't hear my feet
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
