office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
