i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
