The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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