OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
