In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize