if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell