And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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