i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
