i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
