What a fucking waste of an outfit
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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