and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
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She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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