I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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