How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
