I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How's work?
Spinning.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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