38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
