And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
