even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
