Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
