Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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