i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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