I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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