@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize