Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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