I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
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Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
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I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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