She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
