apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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