you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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