he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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