$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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