the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
