my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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