after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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