Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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