Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
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You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
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You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.