I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself