Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just googled if crying burns calories
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?