She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
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Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
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Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.