she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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