I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
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my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
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He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My penis needs a shock collar
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion